Wilhelmina Wang is having a contest over at Hearbreak Nymphomania, wherein she asks readers to answer the intriguing question, “What does your gender mean to YOU?”

That’s interesting to me, because I never really think about “my gender” per se… I think about society’s gender roles all the time, because I butt up against them on a regular basis, but I never frame it as “my gender”, always as “society’s gender roles.”

I was blessed with a hippie mom who never chastised me for wearing “boy’s” clothes. In fact, she bought me boys jeans when I was little, because they had reinforcement patches in the knees. Apparently I spent enough time crawling around on the ground pretending I was a horse to wear out girls pants far too fast for the family budget.

So, I was lucky to be raised by a woman who put no stock in, “how girls are supposed to be,” and all stock in, “be who you are.” I do sometimes wonder if I’d been raised in a more “traditional” family, if I would have more gender issues than I do. As it is, my only gender issues are with society telling me how I should be, instead of accepting me for how I am.

For the record, I usually identify as a heterosexual woman. I have no disputes with my biologically female sex/gender. I am entirely more inclined to be involved with a man than a woman. I identify as bisexual when I’m involved in a conversation with people a) who are totally against homosexuality, and b) who are interested in discussing what you find attractive more than who you get into relationships with.

What does that all mean for what I think of my own gender? Nothing. I don’t really ever think of my “gender” as an important issue. I am who I am, and that is that. If you have a problem with me being assertive, not wearing a skirt, or knowing my way around the underside of my car’s hood better than a random man on the street? You are not someone whose opinion I give a shit about.

Gender, in my opinion, should not be an issue. That doesn’t mean gender isn’t an issue, and a damned important one for a lot of people, but it shouldn’t be. Gender shouldn’t be any more of an issue than who somebody loves… and that is apparently a huge issue for a lot of (sad, insecure) folks.

The rules for entering Wilhelmina’s contest follow the jump. :-)

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Any sex toy collector (or reviewer) understands these dilemmas: A favorite toy breaks, and you feel bad throwing a giant mass of plastic in the garbage. You get a toy you thought you would like, but it really doesn’t trip your trigger when you finally get your hands on it. While sterilizable toys can sometimes be traded or gifted among like-minded folks (like those of us on the Toy Swap Network … hit me up on Twitter if you’re interested), a hell of a lot of toys can’t be properly sterilized. And of course, sterile or not, the day comes when all toys with moving parts finally stop moving.

What’s an environmentally-conscious toy hound to do? What to do with your old jelly (ick) rabbit, now that you’ve learned about phthalates & switched to an elastomer or silicone model? What to do with that beloved bullet vibe when it finally bites the dust? There’s enough sex-guilt in the world as it is… who wants to worry about their old vibrators destroying the planet?! (X-rated B-movie idea there… anyone? Like Christine only dildos instead of cars?)

Never fear, the brilliant Sex Toy Recycling Program is here to save the day! Not only are these fine folks willing to disassemble your unwanted sex toys, and sort them into the appropriate recycling bins, for every package of toys you send, they’ll give you a $10 gift certificate to one of their affiliated toy retailers as a thank you! All they ask is that you not abuse the gift certificate offer by sending every toy in a separate box (boo to greed!), and that you do them the favor of washing the toys thoroughly before sending them in!

With this review, we’re going to introduce a slightly new format for our reviews around here… No fair that Hardware Annie and The Blonde get all the floor space! So, I’ll be posting their reviews interspersed with my own little parenthetical/italicized comments here and there from now on. Like a conversation, or something! –Madame Editrix

First, a mixed review from Hardware Annie:

Ah, the Boss Lady. She’ll blind you with her fluorescent neon hot pink body, but luckily you’re not looking at her often ;-) [Damn straight. This is a totally insane color. I'm amazed you can make a toy THIS pink, and still have a non-toxic product.] This toy definitely earns its name, towering at 8 3/4″ by 1 3/5″. It’s got a silicone body that’s very realistically shaped, and a shower-friendly splash proof plastic base.

The base has a swirly hot pink silicone design for grip, and has three buttons; Up, Down, and Booster. The last one being the large button on the bottom that when pressed, boosts the vibrations! Alas, you have to keep pressing it, so I never use it for quite as long as I want to, but if you press the button with each inward thrust it works just fine ;-) [I do wish the booster button would click on and stay on myself. Ah well, can't have everything.]

So as I said, this one is big. I definitely had to use lube, and even then took a little while to work myself up to it. Once in it felt great paired with another toy for clit stimulation! The shape certainly helps, and the head is curved just enough to hit the G-spot. Unfortunately because of the size I wasn’t able to do much with it. While thoroughly enjoyed, this one probably won’t be broken out too terribly often.

All in all, if you like big cock, you’ll love this! ;-) [That really sums it up for the Boss Lady: If you like big cock, it's fantastic—as The Blonde will attest below. If you're a fan of average-or-smaller peen, it'll be difficult for you to really enjoy it … or possibly even to fit it in.]

The Blonde “really, really” loved it:

Some say narcissism is a bad thing, but let’s face it: Loving yourself as thoroughly and as often as possible is necessary to a modern girl’s mental health, and I have found the key! Granted, I blush slightly when I admit it’s a large hot pink cock, but the Boss Lady’s German engineering will please even the harshest critics time and time again [Just so long as those critics like big cock, that is... hehe].

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Hardware Annie gives a big Thumbs Up!

Ah, the Acuvibe Mini! The smaller and more portable version of the Acuvibe. I really like this one, it may very well replace the Hitachi in my heart. The vibrations are comparable to the Hitachi’s low setting (just at a little higher frequency), it doesn’t keep me attached to the wall or use batteries, and it’s a much sleeker and less bulky 9″ with a 1 3/5″ diameter around the head.

For power, it recharges by being plugged into the wall for a few hours (8 hours when you first charge it), then you’re ready to go! The charger cord detaches completely from the Acuvibe. Unfortunately while charging it, it gives off a blue light that all manufacturers seem to think all electronics need while they’re charging/on that light up your room like a night light! So you might want to keep it covered if you’re charging it at night. And remember to charge it after each use!!! You’re in for a terrible disappointment if you don’t ; )

And now for the fun, the vibrations! Like I said earlier, I personally would compare the vibrations to the Hitachi’s low setting, with a higher frequency. it got a 4 out of 5 for volume and intensity over at Babeland, and I’m inclined to agree, maybe 3 stars for volume. It’s pretty quiet for the power it pumps out, and if it’s under a blanket (warning, not supposed to do that according to he manual, heh) it’s pretty well muffled (get it? Muffled?? Haha, sorry, I could help myself). Just have some music playing while you’re using her and none’ll be the wiser.

Now the anatomy. It’s body is plastic and just under 7″ and a 2″ vinyl slightly curved head with a small flexible gap between the two to make up 9″ and to . The head doesn’t have any padding like the Hitachi does, but I certainly don’t notice much difference.

Over all, I’m very satisfied with this one!

But while using this fine product, I want you all to remember “Never drop or insert any object into any opening.” The Acuvibe Mini’s User Manual says so! So whatever you guys are thinking, just don’t do it!

The Blonde is not so excited.

I was really excited at the prospect of reviewing the Acuvibe Mini. I read some other reviews and the “Mini Hitachi” sounded right up my alley (I love, love, love, love, LOVE my Magic Wand)! Have to say though… I was a little disappointed with the Acuvibe Mini once I got my hands on it.

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The Blonde said it was a tease…

I was rather disappointed at the Tuyo. It’s a lovely, visually attractive sphere about the size of a baseball, composed of two halves of hard non-porous plastic connected around a center ring of medical grade silicone. The two halves open up to reveal the battery installation thingy and then seal tightly around the silicone to form a water resistant seal. (Careful!!! The edges of the plastic halves are freaking sharp and will cut the shit out of an unsuspecting thumb.) The seal is tight enough for fun in the shower, but is not designed for submersion.

The Tuyo is designed with a multitude of increasingly strong vibrations then a selection of vibration patterns. Very pretty toy, awesome vibrational options, I just couldn’t get off. Because of its spherical shape I couldn’t seem to get the right angle on it. And we’re talking bracing against all sorts of things, bed, floor, shower wall, sex partner. It would titillate the entire vulvar region, get my ciltoris delightfully engorged and then fail to get me off.

I would totally recommend it for women who are more sensitive than the rock ‘em sock ‘em girls of my ilk, or for those individuals who are trying to introduce toys into the bedroom and don’t want to intimidate anyone with a giant vibrating dong. But if you like your vibrations on the assertive side, Tuyo is not going to rock your world.

…and Hardware Annie agreed.

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